Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Breaking Up With My Ego (an essay on how to let that f*cker go)



All through history great spiritual leaders have cautioned us on the perils of an unchecked ego. The ego brings nothing but drama and stress; all humans should strive to get rid of it as we progress in our journeys towards a deeper spiritual awakening. As a person who gets easily annoyed by others, Eckhart Tolle’s words that it is simply my ego causing these intense emotions resonated deeply with me. In fact, I can blame the ego for a wealth of personal tribulations that include disappointment, heartache, any sense of failure, and all general discontent. 

I’m not the Bible’s #1 fan, but as the most widely read book in the world, one cannot ignore the humble teachings of Jesus and his disciples. Thoroughly whitewashed by the decays of our capitalist society, the original lessons were all about turning the other cheek, practicing simple acts of kindness, and being humble, humble, humble. That we must not forget.
All the world’s religions teach us this basic lesson:

“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

Words are a thing of marvel, they can be absorbed via old texts and new novels, when paired just right they can be pondered by the amazing insight they bring and read aloud in late night poetry jams. Everyday practices however are a whole other beast. 

How do I break up with my ego when we’ve been in a relationship for as long as I can remember? When exactly did the ego go from being an active partner to the cruel master dictating many of my negative feelings and tainting my interactions with others? 

Establishing that Ego is a sadistic master is fine enough, yet we are pretty masochist in allowing it to dominate us.

Bear with some tangential thinking here. Creative expression is a funny, most vulnerable thing. You really put yourself out there for people to judge and criticize. In essence, your ego can make or break your art especially if you let it take the driver’s seat. Yet another reason to let that f*cker go. Ego is messing with my art. On purpose. It began taking over my writing to the point where the focus became less on the art and more on traffic data. It paired up with doubt and I was done for. But I allowed it to happen until I came full circle and realized I should be able to pursue my truest passions without any thought to world vanities and self-indulgence.

I am attempting to start a life of humbleness where ego doesn’t drive me any longer. I hope to let go of all vanity, feelings of superiority (and inferiority), which I hope will lead to acceptance of the self and others and ultimately a life free from the ego. If I can just impart a piece of sage advice it is this, break up with your ego and live your life more freely.